Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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