In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
