your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
