I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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