maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
