How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Acid is not a monday night drug
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
