I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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