I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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