how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
