we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
