Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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