Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
