Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
