he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
