I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
