Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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