I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
