whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The air was thick with penises
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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