Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
