i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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