I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Watching her eat just hurts me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
