I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
