Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
