Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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