He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Randomize
