Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So vagazzling was a success
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
