No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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