I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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