What a fucking waste of an outfit
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
