girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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