I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
