youre lurking in front of me
Please, let me fuck your mom
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
