I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
