She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
