I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't think brook has ever known best
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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