I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
