So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
