Do you still have your period?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
