Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
