After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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