Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sobbing to NWA
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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