Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
