i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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