What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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