Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I didn't notice because vodka
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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