real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
