we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
