Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
