With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
