Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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